


Survivors

by orphan_account



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Bo and Lukas' Relationship Improves, Dealing With Trauma, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Helen Gets Past Hard Times, M/M, Philip Mourns, Working on Homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 13:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9274934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: My take on what happened before "one month later." This story expands on Philip mourning after the loss of his mother, Bo rebuilding his relationship with Lukas, and Helen continuing to recover from her PTSD.





	1. Disarm

**Author's Note:**

> In this chapter, Philip hears about his mother's fate, Bo gives Lukas an apology, and Helen contemplates what it means to enforce the law. I hope you enjoy.

As the police officers from the next town over finished up their report and Ryan's body was being driven to a morgue, Helen and Philip came back to their senses. The river was calm and quiet like it usually would be before a storm. The gray sky and far away thunder were spellbinding. But they couldn't sit and stare forever. Hand in hand, they walked over to where Gabe was seeing the policemen off. He had stayed back, let his wife and foster son have a moment alone. 

"Where's Lukas?" Philip asked. 

"His chest wound looked like it opened up, from being rattled around in that trunk. We called an ambulance for him," he explained. "Bo went to the hospital with him," he said as an afterthought. 

"We should go see him," Philip said with an immediate sense of urgency. "He'll be fine, right? I mean, when we ran away from the hospital together, he was a little out of shape, but he'd gotten better. They'll probably just re-bandage him, right?" 

"Lukas will be okay. No need to worry," Helen swore, lifting a hand to Philip's shoulder and feeling the tension there relax at her touch. "Philip, I need to tell you something..." she started, hesitant to speak. She knew how Philip would react to the news. She didn't want to see him like that. And it would have been preferable if Lukas had been around. 

"What?" Philip asked. "What is it?" He noticed that Helen seemed to stop and rethink what she was going to say. 

"Ryan, he killed your mom," she said slowly. The young man didn't put up appearances. As soon as the last word registered in his ears, he broke down. He hobbled forward until he was leaned up against Helen, forehead pressed up to her right shoulder, and she wrapped both arms around him. He wailed, although the sounds were muffled by Helen's shirt, and tears burst from his eyes. Helen tightened her arms around him to pull him closer and nuzzled his hair with her nose. 

Philip was moaning the word 'no' over and over again like he was experiencing an intense amount of physical pain. Gabe offered his arms for emotional support as well and soon, both he and Helen held Philip closely until he was done. He had asked to see her, but was told that she was in a morgue awaiting a complete autopsy, that he didn't want to go there just to see her. A funeral would need to be held within the coming days, that would be the best time. Philip didn't know how to feel anything other than sadness, so he simply agreed. Simply dragged his feet to the car when Helen said they'd better be going. 

"What about Lukas? Do you want to visit him at the hospital?" Gabe asked softly, gazing into the rear view mirror for a look at Philip. He had his arms wrapped tightly around himself, he stared solemnly out the window as raindrops started racing down the glass. 

"No," he said meekly. When they arrived home, Philip walked to his room without a sound and locked the door behind him. He crawled into his bed after shoving off his muddy shoes and he curled up his knees to his chest. The sound of rain thumping against the roof and windows calmed him down. He didn't sleep. 

+

It took over an hour for Bo to be left alone with his son. The orderlies were rushing around checking Lukas back into their system and getting him what he needed. He stirred awake when a nurse was putting a new bandage on him, but he told him to just go back to sleep. The boy was in a haze and he didn't completely understand what was happening and didn't seem to notice that his dad was there with him. His eyes were half-open and he was groaning throughout the whole process. After another dose of pain meds kicked in, Lukas did fall asleep again. 

Bo lifted his icy hands to his face to wipe away his tears. He'd been told that Lukas wouldn't be able to leave until the next morning and he'd been made aware of what the floor the vending machines were. Although he wasn't hungry, he took the elevator down to grab a cinnamon bun and a coffee. Mostly, he just didn't know what to do with himself. What to do with Lukas. The man didn't wince at the too-hot coffee at all, in fact he drank the whole cup within a couple minutes. He picked up the tv remote and switched on the tv.

Seconds later, he heard Lukas stir in his bed and mutter some words. He quickly switched off the tv. 

"Lukas, go back to sleep…" 

The boy felt disoriented. "What?" he asked. 

"Doctors say you need to rest."

"Dad?"

"How do you feel, Lukas?"

"Um… not bad…" He shifted around in the bed so he could look at Bo, both relieved and concerned that his dad was by his side. "I'm not sleepy. Everything just hurts."

"I'll get the nurse to bring you more pain medication," he said, reaching for the call button. 

"No, no. I think that's just how it goes," Lukas said, making Bo sit back in his chair. He didn't really want to be pumped full of pain reliever, especially since it was not particularly too much to handle. 

Bo didn't say another word for ten minutes or more. He wasn't exactly sure and he would have thought Lukas had dozed off to sleep again were it not for a heavy sigh that came out of him. "Lukas, why didn't you tell me that you're gay?" he asked gently. He didn't reply, but then Bo was sure that he was awake. "Please, son, tell me."

"Thought you'd hate me," Lukas muttered. Bo stood up next to Lukas' bed and held his hand. 

"I'm sorry I made you believe that, Lukas. You're all I have in this world. I- I can't stand to lose you too, son," Bo whispered, tears coming to his eyes that he wiped away at with his free hand. Thinking back on it, Bo was saddened by the way he acted in the past couple months. Constantly pushing and pressuring Lukas into things without asking, forcing him to cut off somebody he cared for, unknowingly souring his relationship with the only family he had. 

"I thought I was doing the best I could by you, son. I thought I was, but how could I when- when… I should have asked what you wanted. For the sponsorship and for your friend, Philip, and-" he was saying. 

"Dad," Lukas interrupted, continuing after getting the go-ahead. "That time when I tried selling your watch, I did it 'cuz I wanted to buy some pills. Those ones you used to take. After mom died. And I didn't want to shoot deer with you because of the cabin, because of what happened. It wasn't because of Rose, she never was pregnant... I-I never even… you know," he rambled on until he felt that he had said his peace. "And," he said as something else dawned on him. "Philip's my boyfriend… He's more than a friend and he's really important to me, Dad." 

"Well, I'm sorry that I tried to separate the two of you s'much. I wish I never was so hard on you, son. I don't want you think that I wouldn't love you," Bo paused for a second, "No matter what happened between you and your… boyfriend. Between anybody," he explained, obviously having a hard time spitting out the word 'boyfriend' in the context of his son's relationship, but powering through nevertheless. Bo was honestly ashamed that it took a bullet and a coma for him to come to his senses.

“It’s okay, dad,” Lukas said, “It’s okay, I forgive you.” 

“Thank you, son,” Bo whispered, wiping his tears yet again. 

“Okay, dad. I’m going back to sleep now,” he said, the drugs making his head feel hazy.

+

“Philip,” Helen said, softly tapping her knuckles against the boy’s bedroom door. “Can I come in?” she asked, pausing for an answer and staying on her side of the door when she received none. “Gabe cooked pasta for dinner, would you like to come down and join us?” Another seconds passed with no answer. “I could bring a plate for you, too. If you want to eat in your room,” she offered and, again, did not get a response. Either Philip was asleep or didn’t want to speak with her and either way, Helen didn’t want to push her limits, so instead of opening the door, she calmly turned around for the kitchen. 

Gabe quickly took notice of Helen’s downcast expression when she walked in the room as he was scooping spaghetti into three plates. “I take it he didn’t want to come down,” he said. His wife sadly shook her head no.

“He has to eat,” she said, continuing to shake her head. “I know that he’s sad, but…” 

“He’s not just sad, Helen. His mother died and he hasn’t even had the chance to see her yet. I think he needs a little space, just for tonight,” he said, imposing on his wife to understand the gravity of their son’s situation. He handed a plate of food to her, put one inside of the microwave, and then put the lid on the pan before taking his own plate to the table. “So, what happened with Ryan before I got there?” he asked.

Helen took a beat before responding. “He was holding his gun to Philip’s back when I got there,” she began, voice already shaking. “I walked past the bushes with gun already raised, so after a few seconds, he pushed Philip away, towards me. Then I- I told him about what happened to me in Buffalo and I asked him why he, you know, why he killed all those people. He said that he was sorry and then he raised his gun at me, so I shot him. Twice. Then when I came closer and I picked up his gun,” she looked down at the table and abruptly wiped her eyes and sniffled, “He took the bullets out.” 

After sobbing once more, she dropped her fork beside her plate, making the metal clink. “I’m not very hungry right now,” she said, pushing back her chair and walking away towards their bedroom. Gabe looked at her leaving, shoulders still shaking slightly, and he could feel her pain weigh him down. He chose not to finish his dinner either, instead placing all the plates full of spaghetti in the oven because there was no other space. Once he returned to the dinner table, he took a long few minutes finishing up a glass of wine. 

As Helen entered the room, she was pulling off her sweaty clothes and then getting into something to sleep in. She silently lifted the covers off the bed to crawl underneath them, then she pulled them all the way back up to her neck while she lay on her side. In fairness, she could commiserate with Ryan in some ways. Being somebody with authority, with a gun, with a badge, meant that even small mistakes didn’t come without high retribution. But Helen tried not to think about her failures while she was fulfilling her duties. She caught a man who had raped three women once, found damning evidence against him that sent him to prison for 18 years. Helen knew that rapists were rarely convicted, much less with so many years. 

She had done right by those women. Not only that, but there were 2 different people who she had locked up for vehicular manslaughter due to drunk driving. On bad days, all she could see was a lifeless infant in her arms. On good days, she thought of the look in the eyes of those women who survived their violent assault when they'd gotten word of the perpetrator's sentence. She thought of the heartfelt thank yous she received from the families who had justice for their loved ones. 

Helen pushed herself each morning to be the person that every citizen in Tivoli expected her to be. The person that did the right thing. The person who could control her temper. The person who served, who protected with honor, civility, courtesy. And yet Ryan couldn't make that push. Ryan would become a symbol of shame for the FBI, once they got word of his actions. He would be the stamp of humiliation and disgrace upon the entire institution. An FBI agent was not supposed to behave in the way that Ryan Kane did. It was not expected of him to murder 3 suspects without an order, nor kill two teenagers to cover up the evidence, and certainly not to have relations with a child. 

How could he dishonor himself in that way? How dare he treat his venerated position with such carelessness? 

By the time that Gabe made his way to bed, Helen was sleeping with a frown on her face, a crinkle in her forehead, and dampness on her cheeks. He kissed her head before laying down beside her.


	2. Grievances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen speaks with the FBI about Ryan's connections to the recent deaths in Tivoli and Gabe defines his and Helen's relationship with Philip.

“Good morning, Tony,” Helen said as she walked into the station, two coffee cups in hand. She’d put one down on his desk before taking a seat at hers. 

“Good morning to you, Sheriff Torrance. So, why haven’t you answered me since I’ve been calling you all morning?” he said in an accusing tone, but nevertheless, he thanked her for the coffee before taking a sip. Tony had to come into the station earlier than any of the coffeehouses were open and, well, Helen was good friend.

“Really?” she asked, fishing inside her pocket for her phone. “I forgot to turn the ringer on, earlier. Is something going on?”

“Well, yes. I’m sorry we got to get right back to work after the day we had yesterday, but,” he said, waving his arms in a gesture that Helen understood. If it wasn’t them working, then who else? “Nevis PD turned their report into the FBI as soon as they had it compiled,” Tony informed her. 

“Compiled what? They didn’t ask me or Philip a lot questions before they left the scene. That report can’t be complete. Not to any decent standard,” Helen said, shaking her head.

“Of course not, but the sheriff decided to send it to the FBI early, you know, considering Ryan was involved. They’ve placed immediate attention on that report and they’ll be the ones filling it out. Called our station earlier this morning and I told them when you’d be in. They want to ask you questions, and they’ll be here any minute now. It’s not anybody who was working on the Vescovi case or anybody who used to bed on Ryan’s team, so don’t worry. They’re sending someone from outside,” he explained. 

In response, Helen rubbed her hands down her face, took a gulp of her coffee, and finally a deep breath. While eating breakfast that morning, she decided to go looking for the last bottle of Zoloft that she ordered from her pharmacy. Glad to see that they hadn’t expired yet, she figured it would be good to take a dose, maybe a few more over the course of the next week. She could answer their questions, no big deal. “Any word on Anne’s autopsy report?” she asked. 

“No, unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be an urgent concern for the coroner,” he replied. Just as he finished, they noticed an unfamiliar truck pull into the parking spots in front of the building. The person who came out of it was showing off a familiar gold badge on a chain around her neck. 

"Hello," she said, walking in the building and up to Helen with her hand stretched out. "I am FBI lead investigator, Angela Skouris," she said, shaking hands. "You are Sheriff Helen Torrance from the Tivoli Police Department, yes?"

"That's me," Helen said with a nod. "Why don't you take a seat?" she motioned for Ms. Skouris to sit in front of her desk.

"Ms. Torrance, do you know of FBI agent Ryan Kane? He was working on the Vescovi case, in and around Tivoli."

"Yes. I shot him yesterday," she replied, not thrilled with the boring question that Angela obviously knew the answer to. 

"Yes, well... Ms. Torrance-"

"I'm the sheriff." 

"Sheriff Torrance, about a month or so ago, I was given this position, as an investigator in Washington D.C. Prior to that, I was the director of the New York FBI branch and we were looking for someone to replace me. Ryan Kane was interviewed for the position, which involved a lie detector test. I was told that when asked if Agent Kane had committed something that constituted a felony, he said no and the polygraph registered that answer as a lie. In addition to that, Agent Kane was asked if he had ever harmed innocent people while he worked for the United States government. He said yes, the polygraph registered that a truth. Yesterday, or today rather, in the very early morning, I get word from Nevis PD that someone with Ryan's ID badge had been shot, by you. I had someone visit the morgue where he was held and found confirmation that Ryan is dead with two bullet wounds. Could you tell me if the interview and your recent actions have any correlation?" she asked, hands tightly folded in her lap, voice with such evenness. 

"The truth is no. There is no correlation. I shot Ryan because he threateningly raised a gun at me," Helen answered. 

"Why were you and Ryan raising guns at each other off of Lasher Road by Stoney Creek, Sheriff?" she asked, more direct this time, more succinct, to Helen's pleasure.

"Well, it's a very long story. Would you like it backwards or forwards?" she asked, knowing that whatever she said, the FBI would take it all with a grain of salt. After all, she murdered an agent. But she would be in jail now if the FBI didn't at least consider that Ryan was culpable of something. Ms. Angela asked for it backwards.

"Ryan had abducted my foster son, Philip, and his friend, Lukas, and he'd brought them over to where we were. My son's friend had been shot, I believe by Ryan, and he was being treated in the hospital. But they felt they were being followed by someone who knew that Lukas was an eyewitness to the triple homicide of the Vescovi murders months ago. That person was Ryan and he shot Lukas because he was the killer at the cabin and he didn't want Lukas to tell me or anybody. Anyway, they fled from the hospital and were lured by Ryan to Philip's mother's house. I believe that Ryan staged her suicide to make Philip think that she was in danger, so that he'd come right away," Helen explained. 

"You have a witness to the Vescovi murders?" she asked, writing it all down on the report that Nevis PD had put in her hands.

"I have nobody who was in the cabin while it happened. But that doesn't matter to you, right? All you cared about was the drugs. Never mind that three murders happened here, in Tivoli, under my jurisdiction. Or that two teenagers later died of a supposed drug overdose, which I don't know if Ryan is involved, but you could ask Philip. Or that a young girl hung herself on the side of the road at night. You should have sent help for us. There's only a thousand people living in our town, that means it's just me and Tony. We are the police department, us two, and we've been working in 15 or 20 hour shifts trying to figure this whole thing out. If you'd been here, we would've had this sooner. Lukas wouldn't have gotten shot, Ryan wouldn't have either. But you kept insisting that there was no fourth person at the cabin even as I kept getting evidence that there was." 

A few feet away, Tony looked on with his eyebrows raised and mouth half open. He'd never heard Helen speak like that with such a steady form of anger. She sounded like a mom scolding her kid for sneaking out late at night. Not like someone speaking to the FBI.

"Is that all you have to say, Sheriff?" Angela asked, audibly disgruntled. 

"No. You ask Philip or Lukas, they can attest to Ryan being the murderer. But further than that, search Ryan's car. You'll find a bottle of cologne who Bella, the girl who hung herself, bought for him. The store owner knows that Bella bought the cologne the day she was found dead. There was a piece of Bella's hair in the trunk that Ryan was in before killing the Vescovis. And Bella's hands were clean while the structure she hung herself from was terribly rusty. Ryan was in a relationship with Bella, he was abusing her, and then he killed her, made it look like a suicide. Made it look like her father was abusing her instead," she explained, taking out all the necessary evidence from the murder board and placing it in front of Angela.

The investigator carefully reviewed all the pieces of evidence that Helen had given her, then finished up her report. "I'll be in contact when I need to talk to your son and his friend. Good day," she said, before shutting closed the manila folder and walking away tensely. 

+

By noon, Gabe made the executive decision that Philip had been locked away in his room for far too long and the time for space was over. After reheating a plate of spaghetti (because if they didn't finish this all soon it would go bad, and Gabe wasn't expecting the whole family to just skip out on dinner last night, including himself), he marched over to Philip's room, knocked a couple of times to advise Philip of his presence, and then he went inside. Philip was laying on his side, facing the door, his body pressing down into the mattress like cement. Only when Gabe walked right beside him did Philip sit up against the wall. 

"You need to be hungry, Philip. I made you some pasta last night," he said, standing by and waiting for him to get up. After roughly half a minute of nothing but blank stares, Gabe extended his hand further and allowed Philip to take the plate, while he was still sitting in bed. The covers could be washed. Philip began eating, like he was quite hungry, even though he didn't want to admit it. While he did, Gabe took a seat beside him, making the bed dip. "Some time in the coming days, an FBI investigator is going to come by and she wants to speak to you about, well, everything that happened. Lukas, too," he warned him, although Philip didn't much react to him. A long few minutes passed with only Philip eating, Gabe not leaving him, and an awkward silence. "Tell me something about Anne. Something nice," he said. 

Another minute passed while Philip continued eating, he was nearly done, so Gabe made a move to stand as he presumed Philip didn't want to talk. But before Gabe could get up, Philip stopped him by speaking. "She wasn't the greatest cook in the world, but sometimes, when she didn't want something in a can or a microwave container, she'd make spaghetti. But instead of making the pasta sauce with meat, she cut up hot dogs into pieces and threw them in instead. She'd add in ketchup too because she really liked tomatoes. Then she'd put a lot of cheese on top, not Parmesan or mozzarella, cheddar," he explained between bites, until he'd finally finished his whole plate, then handed it back to Gabe. 

With a small smile and a laugh, Gabe said, "I'll make sure to write down the recipe."

"No," Philip said immediately, and defensively. "No, you can't make it like she does- did. You can't," he said, wrapping his arms around himself. "Just- just do it the way you do! You can't just... replace her like that," he said, fully aware of how ridiculous he sounded but unable to stop himself.

"Philip, I'm not going to replace your mom. I don't want to," Gabe said in a soothing tone that took the jitters out of Philip. "I'm going to be the guy that cooks you spaghetti with meat and no ketchup and Parmesan on top. I'll be the guy that signs stuff for you until you turn eighteen. Helen will be the one who takes you to school in the morning and wags her finger at you if you ever come home drunk again. And we'll take care of you, if you want us to, and we'll love you. But Anne... Well, she'll always be your mom and you'll always be her son," he said. Philip's shoulders seemed to relax. "That okay with you?" he asked. Philip silently nodded 'yes'. "Okay," Gabe affirmed, squeezing a hand onto Philip's shoulder before walking out, closing the door again, and putting the dish in the sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Thanks so much for all the hits, kudos, and special thank you for the comments. Ya didn't have to <3
> 
> Please leave your kudos if you have not yet!! Have a wonderful day.

**Author's Note:**

> Friends, thanks so much for reading. Feel free to drop me a kudos!


End file.
